How To Move On From Heartbreak

How To Move On From Heartbreak

 

Getting your heartbroken by the one you love is one of the most difficult parts of the human experience. Letting go of this pain is something that is necessary for a positive life. It is not easy, but it is possible if you follow this formula.

  1. Remove them from social media and delete the text thread from your phone. (You have to stop opening the wound for it to heal. You can be friends in the future, but for now, no.)
    1. Temporarily deactivating your social media is also recommended to focus on yourself and also take away any temptation to creep.
    2. Don’t post about your breakup, your ex, or anything related to the situation. You can give your besties all the details in your group chat, but posting about it on social media when you are emotional always just makes you look bad. Always. 
  2. Put away any items in your house that serve as reminders. If it’s possible to move when your lease is up, that’s best. If moving isn’t realistic, redecorate your entire house. Change the bedding, change the pillows, make it look like a different place. I know this seems drastic, but it will help, I promise. 
  3. Stop going anywhere that your ex goes or any of his/her friends go. This part sucks but is necessary to heal your heart. Those places will still be there when you are in a better emotional place, for now, seeing your ex or his/her friends, will only prolong this healing process.
  4. I know you need to talk about this with others, but limiting the details of this situation to your family and close friends is best. They will give you the perspective from the outside, I know you’re hurting and confused.
    1. I would recommend discussing this with your grandparents, they have much more life experience and can give you simple and helpful advice. 
    2. Be aware that this does annoy your friends, your inability to focus on or talk about anything else. They want to be there for you, but if it is something that you need to talk about all the time and it controls your thoughts, it's best to go to a therapist. Therapists are trained professionals that will give you tools to work through your feelings. They are also paid to listen to you, your friends are not. 
  5. Download E-books that address breakups, self-help, and life/relationship advice. There are so many that offer great advice and extremely helpful information. Reading will also help your mind focus on something else, other than your breakup. It will calm your anxiety and help you sleep. 
  6. Do not drown your sorrows in drugs and alcohol. These will only make your emotions weaker and lead to terrible decisions that can negatively affect your life permanently. You will most likely embarrass yourself because you are in such a terrible mental and emotional place right now. Avoid drugs and alcohol when you are hurting. I know you don’t want to feel this pain anymore, but it will only lead to more, I promise you this. 
  7. Implement daily exercise. You will truly feel better about yourself after every workout. Every day, move in some way. Start with stretching daily, go for a walk, or simple home workouts. ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING. Once you build this daily habit, you will see how it positively affects every aspect of your life and mental strength. Jillian Micheals 20 minute home workouts are the shit, $7 on Amazon.
  8. Refocus your life on yourself. The only way to get through this is truly bettering yourself every day and focusing on your passions. Bettering yourself includes anything that affects you positively. Going to work, going to the gym, hobbies, projects, anything that brings you joy that does not involve your ex. It can be hard to even know what your passions are, start with what gets you excited. Try out some classes with friends, painting, sewing, cooking, book club, gym buddies, animals, volunteer work, etc.

Implementing these steps during this difficult period of your life will help you become strong and secure. This is one of the hardest things that any person has to go through. You will make it through this and you will value your happiness when it returns. Please don’t give up or hurt yourself. You mean too much to your friends and family and your happiness is important. You will be happy again. I promise you this pain will not last forever. When you get through this, you will be the best version of yourself, and find your literal Self Love and Confidence. 



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